“Differentiate or Die!” Great title for a book. Sound objective in practice, too. Here’s the big question: what’s your referent? What exactly do you want to be different from and where are you looking for your benchmark?

On purpose, I ask small business owners this specific question, “How are you different?” I say, on purpose, because I purposely keep the question short, leaving it wide open for their own interpretation. You probably already know how every single answer begins. (Want me to give you a minute to think about it? Okay…ready?)

Here’s how everyone has answered it so far: “We’re different from the competition because…”

The immediate point of reference, the benchmark, is always the competition. While it’s probably good to know what your competition is up to (conventional wisdom says so; well, then maybe it doesn’t matter what your competition is up to, hum?), you’d be better served by knowing what your target audience is up to.

Tom Asacker suggests you go so far as to immerse yourself into their worlds. Go deep enough to “know what they feel, when and where they feel it” (A Little Less Conversation, p. 62). When you’ve done that much, you’re prepared to take the first of three steps he outlines for truly connecting with your market:

One: use your awareness and empathy to create something highly differentiated and desirable—something “valuable” (p. 62).

By awareness, Asacker means awareness of your customer, not your competitor. After all, ignorant empathy is empty.

(What are the other two steps of the three step process? “Two: attract their attention and interest….Three: creatively express and deliver real and compelling value to them over time” p. 62)

Tom Asacker on Twitter. Tom’s book A Little Less Conversation. My radio interview with Tom Asacker for the Social Media Professor program. Subscribe to the Social Media Professor podcasts.